yesterday, valentine's. sweetness with my sweetness. sex at lunchtime. and the evening in the orchard by a fire, laughing at haikus, indian food, and the same old appreciation for the same people always deserving.
this morning, excruciating. pessimistic circles of thought and futility etched into every moment.
and now, hungry. bothered less, but bothered nonetheless. i sought contentment through my self amusement and autonomy. this is becoming a more regular occurance than ever.
it's unrealistic to take a nihilistic approach to life like this, it is not stable and predictable, a single conversation can change my day. when something is in the moment it is empowered so it becomes something i've always felt, thought, been. recognising in this the real truths, and not the fabricated ones threaded by my unhead, is a long and slow process resembling a struggle
i am not the person i am aspiring to be, i am the person who holds the aspirations. i am the grey in the sky. i am the uninspiration felt in students alike, with high thoughts and a thirst for understanding. i am nothing that i adore.
but recognition tastes sweet, sweeter than most.
i need not press myself to write more, ample distraction has been found
relax, repeat, suffer, relax.
this morning, excruciating. pessimistic circles of thought and futility etched into every moment.
and now, hungry. bothered less, but bothered nonetheless. i sought contentment through my self amusement and autonomy. this is becoming a more regular occurance than ever.
it's unrealistic to take a nihilistic approach to life like this, it is not stable and predictable, a single conversation can change my day. when something is in the moment it is empowered so it becomes something i've always felt, thought, been. recognising in this the real truths, and not the fabricated ones threaded by my unhead, is a long and slow process resembling a struggle
i am not the person i am aspiring to be, i am the person who holds the aspirations. i am the grey in the sky. i am the uninspiration felt in students alike, with high thoughts and a thirst for understanding. i am nothing that i adore.
but recognition tastes sweet, sweeter than most.
i need not press myself to write more, ample distraction has been found
relax, repeat, suffer, relax.
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