i re-realise that no matter what, two things are not going to change; his memory of it and my feelings about it. decided in the recent now is my fire exit route. at present i have little reason for this, it would involve catastrophic spurts of irrationality, but time changes the world around me and the people within. we shall have to see. and in the meantime i will be waiting teetering for all hell to break loose inside and out.
today i've felt drained and similarly pained, like my spirit's been raped with a pitchfork. reasoning lies in yesterday eventime's events and talks with alex, it's taking this long for it all to settle in. romantic fucked up couply bullshit, it's all i need. smells like sarcasm? i bet.
i know exactly what power i have over emotion and i know how to best hold it back. deciding my own future for definite is a dangerous thing; i have a tendency to spite myself and others most gloriously if given the chance. but it is part of what defines me, i shalln't shun it
today i've felt drained and similarly pained, like my spirit's been raped with a pitchfork. reasoning lies in yesterday eventime's events and talks with alex, it's taking this long for it all to settle in. romantic fucked up couply bullshit, it's all i need. smells like sarcasm? i bet.
i know exactly what power i have over emotion and i know how to best hold it back. deciding my own future for definite is a dangerous thing; i have a tendency to spite myself and others most gloriously if given the chance. but it is part of what defines me, i shalln't shun it
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